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Home Sweet Nowhere

by Kevin Carducci

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1.
A little pick-me-up oughta ease the pull of this let-me-down Stale pot of red eye coffee and a plate of cold hash browns Should seen it coming from a mile away But when your heart starts pumpin juices Gets so easy to make excuses While you fall apart like wheels coming off of a cheverolet Growing cold like gold leftover in a mountain stream Busted up and ground to dust Like some old forgotten thing The mother load must’ve gotten lost before it got to me Now the fish don’t bite too often Since the whole world woke up coughing Man, if there’s a light at the end of this tunnel it’s getting too far to see Saw a hungry raven pulling and pecking at a chicken bone Guess he plucked it off a family barbeque there down the road Still I dont know why im staring at the sky like its bound to fall Getting harder to find a reason To keep on ticking after taking a beating With the weight of a bould hanging on my shoulder like a wrecking ball Growing cold like gold leftover in a mountain stream Busted up and ground to dust Like some old forgotten thing The mother load must’ve gotten lost before it got to me Now the fish don’t bite too often Since the whole world woke up coughing Man, if there’s a light at the end of this tunnel it’s getting too far to see
2.
Already on a tight rope She’d always hate it when I smoke Then I went and told the wrong joke To the wrong crowd And you could feel the whole evening Turn from loving toward leaving Nothing like a January night To break you down Now here I am, there’s the door I dont use it much anymore There’s no reason for going out now anyways I’m bound by the laws of motion Walking circles round a heart that’s broken Gonna take time getting used to these lonesome ways Hear the sound of a passing plane Just a ghost down here rattling chains Cursing out freedom’s name Into the wind Staring at the grey clouds Telling noone right out loud Man I wonder how things Ended up like this Still living live a country song Watching nights bend to the dawn Teaching shadows how to play along With jokers wild Greet the morning like a lost friend Coming back in to make amends For all the wasted days and nights I’ve left behind Now here I am, there’s the door I dont use it much anymore There’s no reason for going out now anyways I’m bound by the laws of motion Walking circles round a heart that’s broken But it takes a long time getting used to these lonesome ways
3.
I guess this is where it ends No slamming door and no-one crying Just sighing soft into the wind Letting loneliness set in I guess that this is where it ends But ain’t that just the way it goes Seasons change and people follow The wildflowers in the spring It’s just an ordinary thing Ain’t that just the way it goes On down the backroads of my memory There’s an old abandoned mine And I’ve just tossed another precious thing Down where the light will never shine Cause there’s no glitter in the dark Now that ol’ diamond can’t remind me Of all the love i used to hold Might as well be black-rock coal There’s no glitter in the dark Time can do some funny things You hardly notice then you’re dying I don’t know just where it goes Flashes by then turns to gold Time can do some funny things On down the backroads of my memory There’s an ocean deep and wide Full of things you might see glimmering Down where the light will never shine But nothing glitters in the dark Where the sea lay cold and deep and silent All those tired sunken dreams Just turn to rust and lose their gleam There’s no glitter in the dark I guess this is where it ends But a dying dream is still an ember Glowing red like burning coal Until the ashes all go cold I guess this is where it ends
4.
If that Best Western still life is the last thing I see At least I’ll never see it again Cause it’s hardly worth looking at the same tired scene In every hotel room you’ve been Gonna open the window let in some highway And smoke this old stuff in my shoe Stare at the night sky and dream about somewhere Where there’s something better to do Leaving comes easy when all that you know Is the farthest away you can find With midnight air breathing down the back of your neck and homesweet nowhere in mind Cant quite call it freedom, considering the cost When ya check out and turn in the key But I call it a living and just take the loss Cause lost is where I’ll always be Sometimes the highway, she’ll treat you like dirt Leave you spun out, crying in the rain Sometimes you’ll love her just like an old friend When no one for miles knows your name Leaving comes easy when all that you know Is the farthest away you can find Wipe away tears of the grey western skies It’s homesweet nowhere tonight Those parking lot lights the only stars in the sky Smoke winds its way to the moon Outside my window there’s cars rolling by Some have gotta be headed home soon It’s dead end decision which road to take When they all lead you somewhere the same Some room in some motel, right next to some highway, Same picture in an old plastic frame. Leaving comes easy when all that you know Is the farthest away you can find Alone on the trail of some pale yellow lights Headed homesweet nowhere tonight
5.
Lucky Day 03:02
Today Must be my lucky day Cause the aching in my back dont hardly hurt And the holes in all my clothes keep me cool when the warm breeze blows Today must be my lucky day Truck it started up first thing this morning Just the 2nd or 3rd time I turned the key With enough gas to get out the city And 49 dollars in the bank Today must be my lucky day The rigs out on the road dont look so heavy And the highway took me right where I was going My tank it ain’t half full but it aint empty I heard a song I used to love on the radio Today must be my lucky day Cause the trouble in my heart has let me be And the guitar in my hands Sounds like a five piece country band Today must be my lucky day Today must be my lucky day
6.
These walls and me We been talking you see And honey we all agree The place would look better If you’d come back home These walls and me We dont keep and secrets We just share old regrets stale cigarettes And wait for your call Each blue wave of shadow Paints a hurting on my mind Cuz these walls keep playing memories Of the day you said goodbye These walls and me We got nowhere to be So we’ll just wait and see How far we can make it Before falling apart These walls and me We been working together Trying to make it all better Writing long foolish letters One tear at a time These walls and me Looking out for eachother Like an old band of brothers Stickin by one another While the empire falls Those cruel passing headlights Flash bright, then they’re gone these walls ain’t going nowhere But the world keeps moving on These walls and me We been talking you see And honey we all agree The place would look better If you’d come back home
7.
Hey little sister, hows the Brooklyn weather? Not that you can go outside Beside standing on the roof And staring cross the river Hows it looking on the other side? Things out here i guess have gotten quiet with the sky is clear of flights I got the fear but still I’m trying To keep moving toward the light But the old man says this may be worse Than anything he’s seen before JFK, the falling towers, maybe even the Vietnam war I asked him how we're supposed to make it through This year of endless night He said all you can do, even when you’re losing Is keep moving toward the light Hello mama, sure it good to see you Did you have all those greys before? Aw me? Not too much Just trying not to think Bout what the future might have in store I apologize, I know it breaks your heart To hear the troublin’ things that I say But to be honest now I guess for once it feels like folks Finally see the world my way Caus out there ain't it mostly dark Beyond the warmth of this little ol star I’m holding out but I’m losing hold Of the thread that I was danglin' on There’s always bound to be a glimmer, son Even if it ain't that bright Please, don’t give in to the darkness darling Keep moving toward the light How things lookin' from up there, John Any better than it was down here? Where honky tonks & restaurants Are just boarded up souvenirs Sure could’ve used some diamonds now That the goings too rough to ride A few good songs to break new ground In a story even you couldn’t write Its hard to think of something worse Than the madness that we’ve all seen The cooler trucks, the gathering clouds The quiet down in New Orleans One of these days when things clear up I’ll want some good friends by my side And we’ll dance right down the avenue Keep moving toward the light
8.
Something's wrong in California, Something's wrong in Texas too Doctors spoke up and tried to warn us But they just couldn’t get the message through So here I am with another morning Breaking down on my dreams Nowhere to go but the house ive haunted Since time came apart at the seams How long will it take to break the loop Another lonely case of yesterdeja vu Ain’t got the patience to read the paper The world stuck on repeat Can’t tell the sound of a passing siren From my mind feeding back on me Leaving town was a no decision Once things spun out of hand Im losing hold of the life I built up Let the teardrops far where they land How long will it take to break the loop Another lonely case of yesterdeja vu

about

Recorded during the social distance of 2020 amidst the west coast wildfires in Northern California. half of these songs were written in 2020, half from various lifetimes gone by.

credits

released January 22, 2021

All songs written by Kevin Carducci

Kevin Carducci - singin, songin', rhythm guitar, harmonica
Henry Nagle - Lead guitar, pedal steel, mandolin
Kyle Patrick O'brien - Fiddle

Recorded at Henry's Carriage House Garage in Santa Rosa, CA
Mixed & Mastered by Henry Nagle

Cover Photo by Francesco Echo - francesco-echo.bandcamp.com

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Kevin Carducci California

A song for every sad occasion, and some you can dance to too.

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